How Not to be an "Elitist"

I’ve learned something very valuable from the RNC these last few days. For many years, I never truly knew what an elitist was. Thank you RNC for clearing it up for me. I don’t want to be an “elitist,” so by watching your convention and what you define as elitists, I’ve written the following steps to avoid for myself and others like me.

• Don’t come from a major metropolitan area
• Don’t work for NBC, CNN, the BBC or any other media network except FOX News
• Don’t loose your regional accent
• Be educated, but not too educated. One degree’s enough for you
• Don’t show you’re well read unless you can do so in a regional accent
• If you volunteer for something, it has to be connected to something that directly benefits you and/or your family. Helping strangers is verbotem
• Speaking of foreigners, don’t know any foreign languages. Speak American, because you are in America. And don’t let any foreigners think you are cool, especially the French or Germans.
• Don’t write a book, or if you write one, don’t get rich off it.
• Marry up. If not, she had better be a teacher, nurse, or some other expected profession, and not someone you met at your haughty-taughty job
• Make sure you have sons, and that they go to the military. Otherwise, what’s the point
• Don’t be seen with other successful friends that look like you if you don’t look like the rest of America. One “elitist” is enough for any picture thank you very much
• Don’t mention you can understand someone else’s point of view. Fair discussions are for elitists
• Never change your mind even when you change your mind
• Don’t move up too quickly from your born economic status. If you do so within your own lifetime you are an elitist
• Don't give pretty speeches. Unless you are attacking someone.
• Most of all, have a gun. Be sure you have pictures with dead animals.
  

I hope I can do these rules justice in order to gain your "good opinion."

;-)

Sorry guys, I couldn't resist...